What to Do When Your Parents Don’t Like Your Girlfriend or Boyfriend
You may think you and your partner are a match made in heaven, but your parents may have a completely different opinion. It is difficult to be stuck in the middle between your partner and your parents. A love/hate relationship between you, your parents and your partner can make your life miserable. You can’t take sides because you love your partner and your parents. What are you supposed to do?
You need to find out why your parents don’t like your partner? Do both of your parents feel the same way? You need to ask your parents why they feel the way they do about your partner. Set a time when you can be alone with your parents and have an honest conversation regarding your partner. If you can’t visit your parents without your partner going along, then you may have already found the reason for your parents’ negative feelings toward your partner.
You should be prepared to hear some information about your partner that you don’t want to hear. Remember that you want your parents to be honest so that you can try and solve the problem between them and your partner. Your partner may have made a bad first impression. If so, ask your parents to give her a second chance. Remind them that everyone makes bad impressions at times. Your parents may point out negative aspects of your partner’s personality such as being rude, possessive or jealous. Don’t get angry. Let your parents express how they honestly perceive your partner. Do ask your parents to explain why they feel they way they do.
If you completely disagree with your parents’ assessment of your partner, ask the opinion of other people such as mutual friends. Love can often blind people to the negative traits of their partners. People outside of the relationship can see characteristics that you may overlook. What do your friends think? Do they agree with your parents? If so, you may want to re-evaluate your relationship. Ask yourself what characteristics attracted you to your partner? What do you love about this person?
Ultimately, you are the one who has to live with your partner, not your parents or your friends. However, listening to the advice of your parents and loved ones may prevent you from committing to a relationship that is not right for you. It is your decision to remain in the relationship if you truly love your partner. If you choose to remain with your partner, inform your parents and ask them to respect your decision. Tell them that you respect their feelings but ask that they be civil to your partner even if they don’t like her.
You can’t force your parents to like your partner but you can expect them to behave in a civil manner. If your partner is coming on too strong, ask her to back off a bit and give your parents time. Sometimes people try too hard to be accepted and this may be the problem with your partner. Ask your parents to take some time to get to know your partner before passing judgment on her and the relationship. Let the relationship progress naturally between your partner and your parents. It takes time to build trust and for relationships to grow.