Ten Things That Will Get Her All Hot and Bothered

Ten Things That Will Get Her All Hot and Bothered

Remember those days in the beginning of your relationship when you couldn’t keep your hands off each other? Several years down the road, chances are that the passion has diminished, at least on her part. According to Dr. David Delvin, who is an expert writer for, “lack of sex drive (lack of libido) is extremely common in women – but quite rare in men.” While a man’s sex drive can withstand a lot of outside influences, a woman’s libido can be severely affected by factors like stress, anxiety, or boredom in the relationship. There have been many times when my boyfriend couldn’t keep his thoughts off me, but I couldn’t keep my thoughts off that deadline I had to meet, or the bathroom that needed cleaning, or those vague stomach cramps that wouldn’t go away.

The bad news is, sometimes there is nothing you can do about her lack of lust –women are just not always in the mood, and no sex technique in the world is going to turn us from a limp couch potato into a wild porn star on such a day. Some days, what we really want is a good cuddle, not ten new positions from the kama sutra.

The good news is, on all other days you can try these tips to steam up your love life and bring out her inner sex goddess – I promise, she will find it hard to resist you once you turn on the charm and take her by surprise with any of the following:

Dine Her and Wine Her

Surprise her with a candlelight dinner chez vous: make an effort and impress her with your newly acquired cooking skills. If you are a seasoned chef already, find a new yummy recipe that will excite not only her taste buds. Have the dinner ready when she comes home in the evening, and make sure you don’t spill your secret plans beforehand. After all, a romantic gesture only really works when it comes across as spontaneous and takes her by surprise. A few candles, some romantic background music and a bottle of good wine will turn her into wax in your hands.

Take the Plunge Together

Few things are as erotic as sharing a bottle of fizz in a Jacuzzi. Lacking the Jacuzzi, any reasonably sized bathtub will do. Light a few candles around the bath, add some fragrant bath oil or -essence (try the luxurious Precious Time from Radox, 3.99� at Boots, or Air & Water Sensual Bath Oil, 3.99 � at, and get into the water! Indulge her by washing her hair and giving her a (almost) professional head massage, or offer to shave her legs- who knows, she might even be up for some trimming in places more intimate than the legs?

Rub it in

After getting all hot and bothered in the bath, what could be more sensuous and relaxing for her than being pampered with a full-body massage? Again, create an intimate atmosphere with soft lighting, quiet music and ideally, silk sheets on the bed, which will feel both cool and smooth on her skin. Use a fragrant massage oil to bring out her sensual side – I loved the Yoga Shanti Massage Gel by the Body Shop, but there are plenty of other good products available in most drug stores. Start with massaging her feet, and then slowly move north, tantalising her by moving around her intimate areas without ever actually touching them. But do include her breasts in the body rub; not only will it be an enjoyable experience for both of you, a chest massage is also a great way to tighten the skin and flesh on her boobs, preventing premature aging of the skin in these sensitive area.

Take a Break

There is no better way to sex up your love life than to leave the drab everyday routine behind once in a while. Why not book a weekend break in a romantic country hotel far from the madding crowd? Forget about household chores, career worries, and your mortgage for a while; instead, take long walks in the countryside, get plenty of fresh air and work your appetites for each other up by sampling the rustic homemade cuisine.

Watch a Sexy Movie

Get into the mood for love with some sexy scenes from the movies – if she doesn’t like hard porn, rent a copy of 9 Weeks. Films can have an amazing influence on our mood, creating a sparkling atmosphere in the bedroom even before the real-live action begins. Take a glass of wine with you and curl up on the bed or sofa together to watch the movie – preferably without clothes.

Twist and Shout

It may sound obvious, but getting up close and personal through dance can bring the passion back into your relationship. If you want to try something new and exciting, why not give one of the Latin dance styles a go, such as salsa, merengue, samba, or tango? “It’s a very sensual music, it’s a very sensual dance. The thing about tango is that it’s all about the connection with your partner,” says chair of the dance school `Norwich Tango’, Tony Ramsay. Not for nothing are Latin dances often described as `the language of love’ -they will get you in close contact and swinging to the vibrant rhythms of Latin America before you know it!

Discover Your Inner Poet

Have you ever sent her a card for no reason other than to say `I love you’? If you haven’t, perhaps it is time you tried. There are few things more romantic than a cute card surprise, and I have yet to meet the woman who is able to resist such a thoughtful gesture. If you are really pressed for time, but still want to let her know you care, why not send an e-card from work? It’s quick, it’s free, and it brings the message across just as well as a paper card. Or, if you want to show off your creative side and really impress her into the bargain, why not try your hand at poetry? A love poem sneaked into her diary in the morning, or left on the breakfast table, will have her counting the hours until evening when you can back up your poetry non-verbally.

Dress For Success

Slipping into somebody else’s skin can be a confidence building and liberating experience for both men and women, which is why role-plays are a great way to kick-start your sex life. If you are afraid of feeling a bit ridiculous, don’t worry –you won’t necessarily have to play out the stereotypical “doctor and nurse” games in order to have some fun. How about having a “professional” photo session instead, pretending that your girlfriend is a glamorous model and you the photographer who sets up sexy images and views them through his lens? Women love doing themselves up once in a while, and the privacy of your home will give her the extra confidence to show off that leopard bikini she was too shy to wear on holiday, or those skin-tight leather pants she bought on a whim and hasn’t had the courage to don since. If you want to give your photography that extra bit of artistic twist, why not try black and white films for a change? You can also create impressive lighting effects with several floor lamps set up in the “studio,” or produce a minimalist background by suspending a simple white sheet from the ceiling.

Ask Her Out

Re-create the romance of your first weeks together by formally asking her out— book a table in a nice restaurant and then call her from work or, if you are really busy, send an email to see if she would like to join you. After all this time together, it may seem a bit silly to revive the dating ritual now, but really it is just another way of showing that you care, that you still find her as attractive and irresistible now as you did in those first few weeks. Pretending to still be on an emotional honeymoon will make you both float on cloud nine again…and will make you do the things all over again that you did so often back then.

Be a Little Crazy

Surprise her by doing something you have never done before and which she doesn’t expect: on a mild clear night, pack her into the car and drive her to a secluded romantic spot, from where you can take her for a romantic moonlight walk, or perhaps you prefer to simply sit and watch the stars. Don’t tell her where you are going until you get there, but smuggle a hamper with a bottle of wine or fizz into the car beforehand, so you can toast to the occasion. Or, on a nice day, go for a picnic in the park, or to an idyllic spot in the nearby countryside. If she really likes a certain band, or has been trying for ages to get you to go to the theatre or a musical with her, surprise her with a pair of tickets. For a woman, few things are a bigger turn-on than a thoughtful surprise, spelling out I LOVE YOU in capital letters.