Breaking up with a loved one can be one of the most emotionally difficult experiences we face in life. Many people become depressed, feeling as if they’ll never be truly happy again. But while post-breakup depression may be inevitable, there are certain things you can do to minimize the negative impact and move on.
Do Your Own Thing
You did enjoy things before you met your last boyfriend or girlfriend, right? After a breakup, it’s important to regain your sense of identity so that you can move on to the next relationship as a complete person. Even if you don’t feel like it at first, take some time out for yourself. Branch out a bit and explore some things you’ve always wanted to try. Maintaining your own interests will not only occupy your mind, giving you less time to obsess over your ex, but you’ll feel more confident, more interesting, and better about yourself overall.
Don’t Hide In Your Room
After a breakup, you may feel like pulling the covers up over your face and shutting out the world, but keeping up with friends and family after a breakup is essential if you want to get your life back together. Support from your friends and family can help fill the hole made by your ex leaving your life, and keeping up with your social circle will also ensure you can meet new people to date when the time is right. You might not be ready to date for a while, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t continue making new friends and meeting new people.
Take Some Time to Process
Even if you do manage to keep your life going as it should by keeping up with your own interests and getting yourself out there, you will most likely still feel empty or disconnected for quite a while. But don’t despair, this period is not just normal, but necessary, especially after a significant relationship ends. You need to take some time to process your relationship so you can successfully move on to your next relationship a happier, more complete person.
On occasion, when you have some downtime, try to reflect on the relationship that just ended. What did you enjoy most about this person? What habits or personality quirks annoyed you or made you upset? How do you feel you changed, for better and for worse, as a result of your relationship? If you find it hard to answer these questions honestly, ask a friend, family member, or counselor for help in doing so. Asking yourself these questions can help you pick a more suitable partner for next time, and will also give you a clearer picture of what happened. You may find that you understand why you and your ex simply were not compatible, so you can move on to the next person with confidence and understanding.
Move On When You’re Ready
If, after a while, you find yourself still fuming about your ex, you might not be ready to date just yet. You’ll know when you’ve successfully transcended the last relationship you had when you can look back on it without regret. Even very damaging relationships can be integrated into the rest of your life; tell yourself you won’t make the same mistakes again, and give new partners a chance.
No matter how damaging your last relationship was, following this advice will help you become not only stronger and more complete, but more confident as well. And, as we all know, confidence is key in finding a new partner. Breakups are hard, but they can be survived.