Long-distance relationships are hard to maintain. Ask anyone who’s in a long-distance relationship, and he or she will tell you that having to be away from a loved one for an extended period of time presents quite a challenge. Words are the only means you have of communicating your feelings, wants, and needs. You have a number of ways to get your words across; you can talk on the phone, send SMS, email, or chat. But all of these ways lack one vital element. That’s the element of touch. You can talk to each other, but you can’t be beside each other. When you’re down, your partner can’t comfort you with a hug or a kiss. You won’t see the love in his eyes. You have to resign yourself to this fact while you’re apart.
A relationship can fall through the cracks when the distance becomes too much to bear. It has happened to couples; it’s not uncommon. If you value your relationship and want to protect it from becoming just another number, you will take the necessary steps not to let this happen. It may be true that there’s no foolproof way of maintaining a relationship, long-distance or otherwise, but there are mistakes you can avoid making.
If you want to be a smart long-distance lover, here are five don’ts to keep in mind:
Don’t let the green-eyed monster get the best of you. It has damaged many a long-distance relationship, and it will damage yours if you let it. Your partner is miles away. You don’t know what he’s doing when he’s not on the phone or on Google Talk. You can let your imagination run amuck and suspect that he’s playing the field, or you can trust him. Choose the latter for your own sanity. The keyword is trust.
Don’t succumb to paranoia. Don’t panic immediately if you can’t get hold of him. It’s true that accidents can and do happen. That doesn’t necessarily mean that when your partner is out of reach, he has become a victim of an unfortunate event. It may be unusual for him not to check in within 24 hours, but you still have to consider the possibility that there’s a perfectly rational explanation for his lack of communication.
Don’t spend all your free time maintaining communication with your partner. It’s very tempting to expend all your energy on keeping your long-distance love alive. You should treasure your relationships with other people, too, though. Your partner may be the most important person to you, but he’s not the only person in your life. Don’t take the other people in your life for granted. Bond with your family and friends.
Don’t make your relationship your life. This is sound advice for both long-distance and traditional relationships. Your relationship can be number one on your list of priorities, but it shouldn’t be the center of your world or the core of your existence. You should find other interests and have goals for yourself that aren’t contingent on its success. Don’t be “incomplete” in the absence of a love life. As a person who is whole, you have more to contribute to a relationship.
Finally, don’t stop believing in your love. No matter how difficult the waiting gets and how many challenges the thousands of miles between you and your love present, don’t falter in your conviction to keep your love alive. Believing that your love will survive the distance will see you through. If nothing else, it will give you determination to see that your relationship doesn’t fall by the wayside.
When loneliness and impatience set in, and you feel that the distance between you and your love is getting wider, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and remember these five don’ts.
Before you know it, the waiting will be over, and you’ll be reunited. Hopefully, you’ll never be separated again.