There are many difficult situations in the world of dating, but dating your friend’s ex has to be one of the most difficult. Dating your friend’s ex is fraught with peril to be sure, but what are you supposed to do if there is an unmistakable attraction?
After all, people find their soul mates in all kinds of unconventional places, and it just may be that dating your friend’s ex is the road to great happiness and eternal wedded bliss. The key to making dating your friend’s ex is to be totally honest – both with your friend and your new love interest. Being dishonest is a sure way to wreck any relationship, but when it comes to dating your friend’s ex the truth is even more important.
If you value your friendship it is always a good idea to broach the subject of dating your friend’s ex with that friend before jumping in to the fray. Some people will be perfectly comfortable with you dating your friend’s ex, while others may be totally opposed to the idea. It is important to gauge your friend’s reaction carefully. If your friend is totally opposed to you dating your friend’s ex it is a good idea to evaluate the importance of the friendship as well as the importance of the relationship you want. In the end close friends are often harder to come by than dates, and you may ultimately choose to stop dating your friend’s ex out of respect for your friend’s wishes.
If on the other hand everyone is fine with you dating your friend’s ex it is still important to tread cautiously. It is important to set some rules of the road from the beginning and to respect the feelings of all involved. For instance, when you are dating your friend’s ex you may want to refrain from talking about the friend you have in common. This can be especially important if the breakup was a bad one or there are still hard feelings on both sides.
If there are hard feelings on the part of one or both of the parties this can add yet another wrinkle to the problem of dating your friend’s ex. For one thing, how do you avoid seeing your friend when you are with your new beau? What if you bump into your friend somewhere? Can you be cordial when you are dating your friend’s ex, or will the resulting scene be an awkward one? The time to think about the possible consequences of dating your friend’s ex is before these situations arise. If you are dating your friend’s ex long enough chances are good you will run into their ex/your friend sooner or later. Thinking about how to handle these types of situations when you are dating your friend’s ex will make the situation more comfortable for all involved.
There is no question that dating your friend’s ex can be a minefield, both emotionally and ethically. In some cases, however, true love may lie on the other end of that minefield, and that can make the problems associated with dating your friend’s ex worth it in the end.